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july 10, 2025
as a native capricorn moon, whenever the full moon phases into the saturnian sign there is a reckoning awaiting me .. the moon itself playing its eternal role as my mirror, showing me exactly where i stand without any sugar coating, but vibrating with promise ... if i shed the right layers, if i meet my own eyes in the mirror with kindness and not fear, if i double down on my dreams ... well the outcome is never quite laid out because the universe spirals outward from within us. each decision, each time we cast a vote for the person we believe we are, each time we bring the kernel of fear out into the light and give it a comfortable place to rest, the echos of our inner kindness radiate out into our reality, shifting the way we see the leaves on the wind or feel the heat of the sun. it's like when your favorite song to belt comes on shuffle and you pour your whole heart into singing it, and the rest of the day follows suit, flowing with its melody. you set yourself on the vibration of joy and it continues to multiply, it touches the dandelions in your yard and kisses the waves of the nearby river.
the capricorn full moon reminds you that what's buried deep inside is still a part of you, and you have the responsibility of deciding whether you treat it with love or pack more dirt on top. on the eve of this particular phase, i watched I Saw The TV Glow, which played heavily into the inner conversations i've been having with myself .. the horror of ignoring our True Nature, the vibrant life of joy we're meant to live suppressed by fear of the unknown. with a sob of aching relief i looked at the parts of my own life with a special reverence and took time to truly appreciate the times i chose the hard route, the times i did something just for me, completely scared, but also entirely determined because i knew in my heart it was what was Aligned ... the times i followed that golden thread of truth that strengthens the sparkle in my eye and allows me dance through life with confidence.
so i'm letting go of fear, as much of it as I can before it comes back, and it always comes back, because that's the spiral dance. i can overcome a fear just for it to circle back and approach me from a new angle, with a new lesson to learn, with new psychological clothes to get rid of, with karma that tests the strength of my will and values ... and i'll take the time to remember, to be proud of the emotional dragons i've befriended instead of beheaded, the times i've truly felt love and palpably felt the magic of the universe reflected to me in a sunset's sparkles off of water or the taste of dark chocolate or a loved one's hand on mine. thankful for the strange and ever evolving sensation of Being Alive.
