a promise
There’s a fresh deep purple bruise on my butt from a bleary eyed early morning slip down my apartment stairs
And I thought I could give up on my day then and there, crawl back into bed and sleep until I could start over with the next sunrise
I sat dutifully under harsh artificial lighting and ate tuna for lunch
And journaled about wanting and needing the world to catch up with my dreams
About how after all of this time, I’m ready to greet the greatness of my fate
When I returned home my cat greeted me as he always does, with silky bunts of his head against mine
He watched me execute my chores: unload dishwasher, load dishwasher, wash the pans and knives from last night’s chicken dinner, clean out the litter box, take out the trash, sweep the floors
I watched the sky succumb to deep grey clouds as torrential rain and wind whipped the walnut tree outside of my window
The sunset bled into the storm, changing the heavens from pale to golden yellow, to a murky red and purple and the skies partied for golden orange to grace the sky, a slice of disconcerting light blue on the horizon
A rainbow formed in my backyard, stretching across the city, lightning wreathing around it as if their otherworldliness called to each other
My girlfriend and I ran back and forth between our East and West facing windows to admire each side of the storm while our cat hid in my closet
I dreamt of a tsunami threatening to take out the unfamiliar city my ether body was trapped in
It’s not the first dream I’ve had where an unfathomable wave rises above me and I’m forced to seek shelter
And I awoke in the night to rain and wind thrashing themselves against my bedroom window, blurring my beloved neighborhood around into a smear of grey and green
Today I dress in black, a sort of non-mourning for the world I thought I knew when I fell down the stairs yesterday morning
A grateful submission to the universe for reminding me of its extraordinary nature, hinting at all that’s possible for me, too.
